Prologue
or epilogue, depending on how you want to see it.
You see, after all these years, the unsaid remains the most crucial, the most poetic part of articulation. I have wanted this blog to defy that, sometimes to abuse it, and maybe on certain occasions, I have succeeded in doing either, or both.
But most often, the uncertainty in writing, in deciding whether to skip a line or dwell in it or to go around it, takes hold, and I am left with words, paragraphs that seem to not make any sense at all. Most often, writing has become this tedious task I have to accomplish, and I have become too cautious of how say things that I end up giving less in writing more.
Because of this, I have decided to abandon this, once and for all. I know I will be writing again soon, probably under a different name, in a different blog. But right now, I want to surrender to the unsaid completely, and that is what I have chosen to do.
Please feel free to skim these pages. Certain posts here, I assure you, are some of the most inspired pieces I have published; others are just ramblings. While those that remain, the largest section of the population, lie somewhere between the two.
I've added a search bar directly below to help you get a sample of what I'm talking about. I hope you enjoy.
Much Love,
FB
You see, after all these years, the unsaid remains the most crucial, the most poetic part of articulation. I have wanted this blog to defy that, sometimes to abuse it, and maybe on certain occasions, I have succeeded in doing either, or both.
But most often, the uncertainty in writing, in deciding whether to skip a line or dwell in it or to go around it, takes hold, and I am left with words, paragraphs that seem to not make any sense at all. Most often, writing has become this tedious task I have to accomplish, and I have become too cautious of how say things that I end up giving less in writing more.
Because of this, I have decided to abandon this, once and for all. I know I will be writing again soon, probably under a different name, in a different blog. But right now, I want to surrender to the unsaid completely, and that is what I have chosen to do.
Please feel free to skim these pages. Certain posts here, I assure you, are some of the most inspired pieces I have published; others are just ramblings. While those that remain, the largest section of the population, lie somewhere between the two.
I've added a search bar directly below to help you get a sample of what I'm talking about. I hope you enjoy.
Much Love,
FB
2007-10-26
gravity, part i
there is weight, accumulating towards terrible repetitions. the habit becomes heavy, and there is an unbearable lightness in being unburdened of it. i am struggling to fight that need for a cigarette, and how the hand feels ridiculously lighter without a stick.
(urge is heavier then, its pull relying entirely on one's own.)
in this light, it is easier to understand why people come in secrets. the fall, the surrender to what seems inescapable must be hidden to the world outside of its logic, alien to its attractiveness. it's useless to put forth that which is impermeable or invaluable for others, as simple as that.
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20 comments:
just want to inform everyone that tomorrow, this blog will be two years old. yey.:)
yay! happy bloggy birthday!
and i see the real deal here, too, you know.
Your allusions to lightness and heaviness reminds me of Kundera, though I don't really fancy the author. Anyway, happy birthday to your blog.
HAPPY 2nd year!!! (tama ba yun bati ko?
i hate that feeling of foreboding when things are starting to settle down (too) well...
And to think we've vowed several times to quit blogging.
Happy birthday! (Belated na rin.)
everyone, thanks. :)
illyria,
:D
andrew,
it does, in some way. the 'unbearable lightness' was a giveaway. i think of the novel as i write this.
bryan,
agree.
mam amy,
yeah. and you're actually prolific these past few days.
Promotions!
andrew,
yes, i'm sure you're familiar with them.
hi. i just want you to know that someday, mage-gets din kita.
uy. happy birthday.
vnaalala ko lang yung isang line sa unbearable
"happiness is in repetition"
happy 2nd birthday sa blog mo :)
very nice.. congratzz
saya naman, 2 years ka na pala. keep warholeing.
i feel the same way...
i so wanted a break from having a break from having a puff...
:(
my hands are definitely heavier than before. with, or without a stick.
My posts are getting longer, no? Wala lang, masayang magsulat these days :)
happy 2nd bday to your blog!
they say quitting is really hard.i know people who quit from smoking,but went back after a few weeks due to influence!
thanks to all the comments. i will reply soon. :)
pat,
i think na-gegets mo naman ako. :)
sarah araullo,
in my case, i think the opposite is true though.
portable bitch,
don't worry. we'll get used to not smoking.
pao,
why? what's up?
mam amy,
yes, they are getting longer.
jaja,
oh i do too. i was one of them. :)
again, thanks everyone. sana tumagal pa tayong lahat. :)
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